


Don't Hide from Me

by Batmanfan11



Series: Summer Challenge [5]
Category: Batman - Fandom, Superman - Fandom
Genre: Cutting, Depression, M/M, Mentions of Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-11 23:59:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4457528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batmanfan11/pseuds/Batmanfan11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce isn't feeling all there right now and it's effecting his relationships with his family, friends, and lover. What can Clark do, or say, to remind Bruce of how much he loves and needs him?</p><p>A gift for spnwearehunters on Tumblr. Thank you for all of the awesome fics you send me!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Hide from Me

It killed him. It was gonna end up killing him. Everything was gonna end up killing him; heart and soul. The fighting, the family, the city, the job. It was gonna tear his skin off and sight him a flame. It was gonna catch him from behind. Every back stab he committed, every little lie or disguise would kill him. It was all gonna kill him.  
  
If he wasn't already killing himself, that is.   
  
The thin blade cut across ruined skin, opening his flesh for his new demons. His worry and his sorrows dribbled off his arm and stained the wash cloth under him. He only let one demon in at a time as he was watching the blood leave him and be refilled with darkness. The darkness was tiny and oppressive; always there to control its host into doing things you didn't usually do. It was possible to fight back these demons but there will always be a piece left. Sometimes that piece grew and the infestation was back. _Home wrecker. Attention seeker. Baby._ The host had many names once the demon was inside and visible.   
  
This host's name was Bruce.  
  
Bruce had many demons growing up and one by one, he had gotten them all. Through practice, meditation, hard work, and love, his demons were demolished. So little remained in fact that it was becoming harder and harder to keep up his Batman persona. That didn't mean some where there still remained some, affecting him in ways that could cripple him. Demons are strong but Bruce was stronger.   
  
Was.  
  
The host, Bruce, was doing amazingly. His demons had whittled in size from every day he spent happy; truly happy. Since the day his happiness returned to him, Bruce's life did a 180. He had friends, family, love, companionship, and a city: Gotham. The first turn was his city, turning him toward the brooding good guy, defeating the demons night in and night out. Sometimes he won and other times he lost but in the end, it was worth it. The second turn was Dick than Jason than Tim than Damian and then finally, Cassandra. Alfred, Barbara, and Stephanie helped along as his lonely darkness disappeared in his heart. The Justice League came after that, bringing friends and a lover. The Justice League had told his demons to get out and take a hike and Bruce was feeling better every day since that even though he wouldn't dare tell them that. He still had a reputation as a scary and intimidating Dark Knight to up hold. The last turn was meeting, befriending, dating, and finally, falling in love with Clark Kent: Superman, Kal-el, reporter.  
  
He pushed the rest of his demons out and taught his heart to heal. To love in one of the most intimate relationship he had ever been in.  
  
Yes, it took time. It took a lot of time but over time, it worked. Or, at least it was suppose to.  
  
Bruce couldn't remember sitting himself down on the toilet and he sure as hell didn't remember grabbing a detachable razor blade from the Batcave. He couldn't remember getting there but he remember why he was there. Almost like a black hole, his body was sucking in every bad conscious thought and putting it straight back into his heart. He couldn't breath or eat or sleep. He couldn't be himself as the blade went across his skin, opening it with vigor.  
  
"Get out," Bruce said as he watched the blood run off him. He wanted to make sure the demons never got back in but all he was doing was inviting more in.  
  
Bruce didn't stand a chance by himself.   
  
But he didn't want to know that, so he shut himself out. From his family, friends, employees, and lover. He had to keep them out to protect them but that only left more room in Bruce's heart for demons. Horrible and unforgettable demons.  
  
For you see, if your heart is filled with good and honest love then there's no space for the evil to hide. They will try to squeeze in but they will get squished by your heart's mighty power. Sometime's thought it finds a weak spot and burrows deep within you. But Bruce didn't know. He didn't even know that his change of attitude helped him recover. All he wanted to do was help his family and himself but all he could remember doing was hindering everyone, including himself.  
  
So he sat there, cutting, one by one, till there was more darkness in him than light.   
  
He collapsed on the floor for a few hours, covering his clothes in blood, sweat, and tears.  
  
While Bruce laid there, Clark was downstairs, eating a home made sundae with his family, laughing at Dick's jokes and Cassandra's funny faces. She had a PHD in body language and humor, making some of the weirdest faces imaginable. They all laughed and laughed until Clark excused himself from the family. He could hear Jason coughing out for another face and then getting one and hitting the floor. Clark giggled to himself and made his way up the stairs, allowing his mind to be distracted by Bruce's shift in attitude. It wasn't just to him, but to his family, league, and the police station. It was unsettling and Clark wanted to find out why it was happening.  
  
He took it slow, walking up the flight of stairs and staring off into the pictures. A lot of them were old and irrelevant but Bruce refused to get rid of them. "Money's worth" is what he would call it.  
  
As he moved upwards, his mind drifted into the past.  
  
_"Bruce, wait up!" Superman flew along the corridor and right next to Batman. Batman held a stack of files to his chest and his pace was off centered._  
  
_"I have work to do, Superman." He growled as he picked up speed and took a sharp turn toward his room, giving him a flash of anger and resentment. Superman wasn't giving up that easy and kept following Batman till they hit his room. His grouchy Bat was just going to have to put up with him."Go away! I have things to do!" He walked into his room and locked his door and left Superman to hover there in the space in front of Batman's door. Superman licked his lips and nodded. "Alright, babe. See you tonight." He left with a twinge of confusion in his heart._

Clark shook his head and continued his way up the stairs. With each creaking wooden step, he drew closer to his room and his love. He walked over to his bedroom door and from some impending force, stopped. His mind left him and he felt so empty inside. It was like a fuzzy black and white static filled him from the inside and he got dizzy. Tiny black dots stared forming in front of his eyes as he stared to go crossed eyed. He shook his confusion off and opened the door and suddenly, the reason for static became clear. He smelled a strong stench of dry blood and iron.

"What?"

His body worked on its own means toward the blood. The noise of the outside world had gone numb and then only thing left in his mind that would connect with a sound was a metronome. Back and forth as he reached the bathroom door. Back and forth as looked around the shiny bathroom. Back and forth as the smell became so bad that Clark had to hold his nose and look around on the floor. Back and forth as fear racked through him that he might of lost the most important person in his life.

Stopping as he spotted Bruce on the ground surrounded in his blood, staining the ground, his clothes, and Clark's heart.

"No!"

Clark sped down to the ground and gripped Bruce's face and shook him. Tears were rolling down his face as choked words came tumbling over one another. This couldn't be happening! He could hear Bruce's heart beat pumping his blood and his spirits were lifted. The tiniest bit of hope could give energy to the most destroyed people. In one gust of wind, Clark had picked Bruce up and flew them directly to the Batcave, destroying walls and precious items. Damn them to hell. They could be replaced but Bruce couldn't. Not in an eternity. He didn't notice Bruce slowly waking up, his pale skin looking sickening in the darkness. Bruce was always pale but this wasn't okay. None of this was okay!

Clark set him down on a table and searched for the source of blood. 

His human instincts didn't pick up the cuts across Bruce's arm nor that his sleeves seem to be going through the most damage of blood. He knew about Bruce's depression when they became best friends. His mind believed that it was all over and everything was okay now. That seemed to be false. He went straight to work on ripping off the sleeves and then bandaging each wrist with care. They were sanitized, water proof, and double layered. Clark saw the scabs already working around the wounds but he didn't like them. He didn't like to look at them and the destruction that caused to his heart. Who knew two red lines could put you on the edge? Now he had to work on waking Bruce up.

But he already was.

He was up with a gleamy daze and staring right at Clark. 

"Clark?"

"Shut up!"

Clark held him close in his arms as the tears came rushing down. They started to drop off him and mix with the blood. 

"Oh my god, Bruce! I thought I lost you! What in hell's name were you doing?! I-I-I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you! Out of all the things you've done to scare me, this takes the cake!" Clark sobbed hard as he held Bruce harder. The only other time he felt this kind of pain was when his Pa died. He couldn't function with out crying every ten minutes. He didn't want to be that way again. He could feel delicate and heavy arms hold his head and fingers start to play with his hair. This was Bruce's kind of comforting. Careful and slow but extremely meaningful. He cried harder. One moment, he was laughing and having a merry time, now it felt like the life was drained out of him.

"I'm sorry, Clark. I didn't mean for you to find out. Or for it to get this bad." Bruce could feel this over whelming feeling to do something. He couldn't figure it out so for the fourth time in his life, he caved in. Most of the time he would of tried to figure out what it was before letting it happen but caving in is usually the easiest choice and it's always right. He let his natural response come out and soak Clark's shirt as well. With each tear, with each promise, demons were pushed out. They fell somewhere where they wouldn't be able to touch him again. Somewhere bright and burning and deadly. Hope. They fell in hope for the future, for better times. They fell in hope for happier days where there wasn't a single demon in sight. They fell in hope for a time where Bruce was demon free. To be free.

"I'm sorry, Clark! I'm sorry! Oh god, I'm so sorry!" Tears soaked a red face and puffy eyes. 

Clark held Bruce for what felt like forever on that medical cot. His emotions were swirling inside him. Anger. Anger for himself for not catching on sooner and anger for Bruce for not telling him. Sadness. Sadness for himself that he might of lost Bruce and sadness for Bruce because he had to go through this alone. Joy. Joy for Clark for finding him and joy for Bruce for working together for better days. These emotions couldn't be contained as he laid Bruce down on the cot. They couldn't stay put as these emotions turned into devious actions. Clark was careful and considerate of Bruce's wrists but the rest of him was draped in love bites, bruises, and hickeys. 

Clark felt bad afterwards for having such rough sex with Bruce. He guessed that his anger got the best of him thought he should of known better. He ran a hand over Bruce's hair and then kissed it. Bruce didn't seem to mind the rough love but still. Clark surrounded himself around Bruce and held him close. Closer than Bruce usually likes but that didn't matter. He needed to hold him to make sure he was still there, with him, breathing. He looked down at an open palm with the bandage wrapped around his wrist. He had to do something. This wasn't okay. He didn't know what to do but he was gonna have to learn. He had to. 

He couldn't risk losing someone so priceless to his inner demons. Not today. Not ever.


End file.
